Jasmine Hart

Hi, This flows nicely. I love; "you can pull the blanket tighter, but this is the kind of cold that doesn’t really go away." I'd change; "looking outside, you feel ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS!I hope you like it here. I really enjoyed this. It's a lovely idea, and it's laid out very well and moves nicely from beginning to end.You ...

Hi Kat, Welcome to Yws! I hope you like it here. This was to the point, which was good. The first thing I noticed about this was the font-I felt ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This progresses nicely. There is a clear beginning, middle and end, and the rhythm is consistent and effective. Rather than ...

Hi Ash, First I'm going to talk about what you have here, and then I'm going to make suggestions for a possible rewrite. I think this flows nicely, and I ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you're enjoying it. :) Personally I think that the philosophical nature of this makes it read more like a journal entry than a poem-which ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! This is an interesting piece and I like your use of rhyming couplets. I'd add more punctuation. It can help if you read your poems aloud ...

Hi, This flows nicely and is interesting. It reminds me of "The Picture Of Dorian Gray" (which is a great book!). I'd cut the repetition because I think that the ...

Hi Kat, Welcome to Yws! First I'm going to look at what you have here and then I'll go on to tips for a possible rewrite. The first thing that ...

Yay! Ahem. Hi Kit.I enjoyed this, as usual, nice and fresh. The beginning is great, very interesting, really drew me in. I'd suggest a question mark after "hole", or else ...

Hi, I think you have an interesting idea here. I'm really interested in your mention of the kestrel and the rabbit. I'd make that the poem instead of what follows, ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. You manage the form really well. I love the imagery of the leaf falling. I think you're right that the last line of the first ...

Hi, I'm Jas. Welcome to YWS! I love the bubble image, it's vivid and works very effectively. I'd change the title to; "I Can't Be Who I'm Not", or to ...

Hi, I'm Jas and I'll be your reviewer this evening. I'm going to do this in two sections; the first will address what you have here, and the second will ...

Hi Penguin, I really like this, Your imagery is vivid and interesting and I love how "cooling" and "decay" work together. I love; "and I wonder why she doesn’t fit." ...